Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.) From Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself.”
Don’t we all know that feeling? Aren’t we all a bundle of contradictions? Don’t we all contain multitudes? Don’t we all surprise ourselves by dealing differently, at different times, with situations that seem to be alike? Don’t we sometimes make a remark that feels outrageous and wonder, “Where did that come from?”
A woman I know very well has been identifying some of her inner selves, some of those “multitudes.”
She has studied “The Vein of Gold,” written by creativity guru Julia Cameron, author of the popular “The Artist’s Way.” In “The Vein,” Cameron describes “secret selves,” those “hidden aspects [of our personalities] that we don’t reveal in every day life.”
Maybe we don’t intend to reveal these personalities. But they sometimes peak out anyway.
This woman I know very well suspects that she has at least five very different secret selves. “No wonder I’m confused,” she said.
First, the Warrior Queen. When you’re dealing with the Warrior Queen self, just do what she says and the world will be a better place. She knows what’s right for everybody. If you’re in school, you’d better study. She’s checking your grades. If you’re sick, take your medicine. She’s counting the pills. The Warrior Queen will defend, to the death, your right to do exactly what she tells you to do.
Then there’s the Contemplative Seeker. All she wants is to sit in a quiet, peaceful, comfortable place, all by herself, read good books, and think great thoughts. Whatever you do is not her business. She will not interfere or even express an opinion, though she will send happy thoughts your way. You can see why she cringes when the Warrior Queen passes by.
Third, the Creative Eccentric. She says, “Let’s go create something fabulous! Something new! Something so beautiful that the world will rise up and cheer!” The Contemplative Seeker finds the Creative Eccentric annoying – all that restless, aimless, activity. The Warrior Queen considers her irrelevant.
Then there’s The Harmonizer. She feels responsible for making sure that the people around her are happy. Faced with friends who hold conflicting opinions, she’ll find a compromise that might not keep everybody happy, but that will at least keep everybody unhappy to an equal degree. The other selves find the Harmonizer useful but boring.
Finally – last but don’t risk calling her least – is the Snark. She thinks critical thoughts and expresses them in a sarcastic way. The other four selves usually admit that she is right. But they’re always telling her to shut up. The Warrior Queen doesn’t want to have to fix any relationships broken by the Snark’s sharp observations. The Contemplative Seeker doesn’t like her judgmental language. The Harmonizer fears that the Snark will hurt somebody’s feelings. The Creative Eccentric secretly records the Snark’s clever remarks to use later, attributing them to somebody else. The Snark is the most secretive of the secret selves.
Sometimes when this woman – whom I know very well – has to make an important decision, she calls a meeting of her secret selves. Of course the Harmonizer facilitates. She’s the only who knows how to run a meeting where everyone has an opportunity to express an opinion. The opinions will surely conflict. The Harmonizer will create a compromise that will then be presented to the world. None of the other secret selves will happy with it.
Contact jlindsay@tidewater.net
